Pain is a state of mind (I think) July 15, 2010

Pain – What’s there to be passionate about? We all know pain, unfortunately. It’s a dark spot on your mind and heart. Many people grow passionate about what they’ve survived, and why shouldn’t they? A connection forms between people when they share their pain with another – to me that’s nothing but passion.

Here is my take on pain:

Everyone has an excuse for pain. There is no joy without sadness. No light without dark. What goes up must come down.  They say pain is temporarily, it makes you stronger, it’s part of life, and so on.

Pain is a state of mind.

You may not agree or even remotely believe that, but at least part of me believes it’s true.

People have countless ways of adjusting their state of mind to deal with their suffering, misfortune, or adversity.

Wear red, the color of power, to help you believe in and exhibit your own power. The strong color is a symbol of strength, control, and authority.  When left with feelings of powerlessness and insignificance we crave every ounce, every bit we can earn by tooth and nail in the struggle to regain our power and overcome our pain.

Tarot, horoscopes, even aromatherapy are ways to deal with pain. They address the pain of the unknown, mental strife, or physical hurt.

The last, my favorite, is ice. Sealing the name of a person, a problem, or an obstacle in the confines of a cold, hard, block of ice – in secret, with no harm to anything or anyone – is unusual, but as I’m told, fulfilling. The negativity and pain of whatever hurts, is stopped, sealed, stuck in a block of ice at the back of the freezer. It’s a symbolic act of freezing off that part of your mind. Whatever it is, its gone, locked away.

This all sounds kinda creepy, huh? I know. But as I said before, pain is a state of mind. And we control our minds.

If only it was that easy to control our pain!

Touch. July 1, 2010

Touch is by far one of the most important senses. Never seeing a person again, or hearing their voice, even smelling their cologne, or their signature dish again, all seem daunting; but what if you could never have your mother’s hug again, never cuddle in bed with the one you love, never even embrace a friend or family member? Sight, hearing, and smell are the first to be defended when the question of ‘if you had to give up one sense, what would it be?’ comes up. But how could I even tell you this without touch the keyboard?

Think about what it would be like to never be touched. By anyone. Not the extremity of being ‘bubble boy’ or locked in a germ-free room for the rest of your existence; think, living in a nursing home, a stuffy dorm, or even living alone in a new city, by yourself. Who would touch you? You could literally go days without it.

Whenever I’d visit someone in a home, no matter how difficult, my mother would remind me to hold the person’s hand as I said goodbye, hug, or kiss them, even if I hesitated.

Because if I didn’t, who else would?

Just yesterday, my amazing boyfriend [who has been wondering when he’ll get mentioned in this blog! ;)] told me that he’d read a study that argued if couples held both hands together while they argued, they’d have more compassion in their words, and likely, a more positive argument.  He also recently tested me on hugging. He read if a couple hugs for a longer-than-normal-time it builds trust. So hold on a little longer – it’ll feel uncomfortable in public, but its totally worth it.

There’s a comfort that develops among humans, and sometimes animals, through touch. I believe it does build trust, compassion, and love. A touch is a connection. A mother to a child. A friend to a friend in need. The lover to his love.

I believe that a touch can be passionate. It can also be compassionate. It could be just what we need to survive in a world isolated by technology, hatred, crime, and distance.